EP 50: How to Decrease Holiday Clutter

Our mission is to give you tools and strategies that will help you move from being stressed to feeling your best.

 Kim Sneath joined us to take about the stress of holiday clutter. Don't miss her tips for clutter-free gift giving and reducing holiday overwhelm. 

About Kim: She is a Breakthrough Coach & Clutter Specialist.  She helps men and women eliminate overwhelm and get unstuck, by taking simple steps to achieve their goals and take control of their lives with ease.

She is a Certified Master Freedom Facilitator guiding every day people to unlock their potential for more; more clarity, more joy, and more freedom!!  Using powerful mindset and reframing tools, She helps her clients to breakthrough their limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging perspectives, that hold them back, releasing them from years of struggle. She has been inspiring her clients since 2007, to greater possibilities in their lifestyles and with their homes, families, and careers.

Transcript

SPEAKERS

Barb Fletcher, Kim Sneath, Deb Timmerman

Deb Timmerman  00:00

You're listening to the less stress in life podcast. Your hosts, Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher are on a mission to help individuals and organizations manage stress and change. Together, they bring you real conversations, inspirational stories, and strategies to help move you from being stressed to feeling your best. Hello, everyone. I'm Deb Timmerman. Welcome to our series of 52 practical tools for less stress in life. This is episode 50.

Barb Fletcher  00:32

I'm Barb Fletcher. Our goal is to give you tools and strategies to help you move from being stressed to feeling your best. Our guest today is Kim Sneath.  Kim is a breakthrough coach and clutter specialist. She helps men and women eliminate overwhelm and get unstuck by taking simple steps to achieve their goals and take control of their lives with ease. She's a certified Master Freedom Facilitator, guiding everyday people to unlock their potential for more; More clarity, more joy, more freedom using powerful mindset and reframing tools. She helps her clients to break through their limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging perspectives, releasing them from years of struggle. She's been inspiring her clients since 2007, to greater possibilities in their lifestyle, and with their homes, families and careers. Welcome, Kim. 

Kim Sneath  01:30

Thanks, Barb, for that.

Deb Timmerman  01:32

So Kim, tell us a little bit about how you found yourself on this path of helping others to remove blocks and release clutter.

Kim Sneath  01:41

Well, it's not a usual path. Like Barb, I have a singing background. So I was a music theater performer in my 20s and 30s. Doing that in Toronto for many years. And then I sold my house, which meant I also staged my house, which was the first time I ever did home staging. And it went really well. Or we had nine offers sold for $100,000 over asking, I mean, you know the Toronto market as well. But that was in 2007. And my real estate agent said, Would you like to get into this? I know you've been talking about this, we can start sending you clients. So we started working with clients on the combo of decluttering and staging because it kind of goes hand in hand when you're getting your house ready for a busy market. And that was really fun for me. I love interior design. It got me to play with setting up furniture in people's homes and all those challenges that go with it. What was missing for me, and what I then started gravitating to, is one on one coaching and helping people with why do you have clutter in the first place. So I moved away from the staging aspect of it.

Barb Fletcher  02:55

So Deb, and I spend our time talking to people about stress. Can you help us understand? If and how clutter might impact stress?

Kim Sneath  03:05

Yeah, and I think anybody who's interested in listening to this episode, probably already knows it because they feel that, but let me iterate it. This is why we say less is more. Less stuff is less time cleaning and organizing. Less stuff is more time for yourself. It's more space in your home. So all of that it's more time, you know, you have to focus on yourself, your family, getting out of the home. So, it really is less is more.

Deb Timmerman  03:40

So you're talking about the physical aspects of clutter right now the stuff that you have in your house, what have you found to be the relationship between physical clutter and emotional clutter?

Kim Sneath  03:51

Huge! Clutter is unmade decisions. Where does decisions lie in your head? And I say that clutter is the physical manifestation or representation of what's not working or blocked in your life. So if you have a lot of stuff around, it's likely that it is in areas in your home that you want to fix, but don't know how. So for example, maybe your clutter is everywhere, but maybe it's really focused in the kitchen, and you've been wanting to get in shape and eat better. Well, the clutter is a great excuse of why you can't do that. But once I get declutter, then I'll get in shape. Once I get declutter, I'll have people over again. Once I get too cluttered, I'll start dating because I'm too embarrassed to have anyone over right now. So, it's this block, right? And sometimes an excuse.

Deb Timmerman  04:44

What about people that hang on to sentimental things to them like things that are passed down from generation to generation? Or maybe it's just your house got cleaned out because mom passed away and now you take all of Those pieces that remind you of mom and you put that clutter into your house.

Kim Sneath  05:06

Yeah, that's a big one. And first of all I want to say one, I'll just throw in a tip here is, the first way to get organized is not get organized. It's to declutter. The last thing to declutter is sentimental stuff, it is the hardest category of clutter, start with your clothes, and work your way down. So I hear this a lot where people have brought into their home that which they inherited, if they've inherited it, they're probably going through grief. So this is not the time to try to get organized. Allow yourself the grief, allow yourself to visit those items. That's why they're there in your home, perhaps keep only what you love. Your loved one wouldn't want you to feel burdened, they wouldn't want you to feel weighed down, and you can't take it with you. So there's no reason why you should be the bearer of the family memories. And the historian, especially if your brothers and sisters, your siblings, anyone else in the family doesn't want this stuff.

Barb Fletcher  06:12

It's such an interesting emotion that's attached to it. And my mom actually moved into our home. And when she did, she brought a number of plastic tubs. And the commitment that we had when she moved in because she couldn't make all those decisions at the time was, we'll just bring one tub up once a month, and you can go through it. Well, of course, that doesn't happen. So, she passed and now we have all of her things and the tubs and you speak to that, and it'll be a year in January. And I've had difficulty in shaking free from dishes that were my great grandmother's and the China because there was a perception that we should hang on to China, those strings and threads run deep, don't they?

Kim Sneath  07:07

Yes, they can. And you can separate yourself from those. Because the memory is in the people and in you. It's not in those things. Because if you just saw China out of the shop, it's just China. Right? And so the other thing is, each generation has different values. That generation, they were told by This dining set, it will go through the generations, you'll pass it down. What is over? And guess why do you all know if you have kids, they don't want any of that stuff? What do they value their phones, information, freedom, travel, just the opposite. Think about what you value. And your home should reflect that. Your home should be a place of joy and happiness and freedom. And it should lift you up and be your sanctuary that you could Kuhn in from the busy world. It shouldn't drain you before you even lift it for the day.

Deb Timmerman  08:12

I love that. And that brings up the topic of holiday clutter. There is always stuff. We have decorations. We have presents, and we have that whole aftermath. What tips do you have for managing that mess?

Kim Sneath  08:26

I want to speak to the gifts coming in because this is gift buying season right now. And I want anybody listening. If you're a grandparent, if you're a favorite aunt and uncle with the nieces and nephews and you love to buy gifts. Please know that people who hire me after Christmas are the parents whose families bought all the gifts. And when I speak to them over the phone before we have our session, we talked about this. And they said it's not us we bought the one thing that our kids wanted and all the rest and it's dollar store stuff that breaks is shortly after it's out of the stocking. So please remember, the gifts that keep on giving our gifts of time, gifts of quality time spent together. And that could be if you're long distance, phone call with your grandchild really listening to their latest exciting story or project or whatever. That's all they really want. And the other thing is kids get overwhelmed too. There was a study out of I think UCLA, where they had a room full of toys. They had kids go in it. And if there were 10 or more different toys that kids didn't actually play with them. They sort of touched them all. looked at them all. They might start arguing over who gets what, but they didn't really play and kids learn through play. Then they brought them into a room where there were only three toys, they engaged with the toys, they really time just stood still, they really got into it. So, kids do not need a lot.

Barb Fletcher  10:05

It's interesting when we bring our values about how we might have grown up, perhaps scarcity into this season, and how those influences buying patterns and gift giving.

Kim Sneath  10:22

That's right. And do you want to pass on scarcity, or do you want to pass on abundance? So think about that, when you're giving. What are you representing? And I think this is where the parents of today really get triggered, is that they're trying to show the value of environmentalism. And so if you're going to give something, don't give something that's plastic, if you're going to give something give something that lasts, if you're going to give something ask, what is it that you guys really need. And there's a wonderful poster, I'm sure you've seen it that goes around Facebook this time of year. And it's I forget, if it's the four gift rule or something, and it's give something they want something, they need something, they wear something they read. Okay, so if you value education, maybe you want to be the grandparent or the aunt and uncle, that gives a book series or a book, the next book in the series. And then you spend the time and commit to come on over and visiting and reading that book with a child.

Deb Timmerman  11:26

I love that whole piece about relationships in time. So I do a lot of work in my county, around trauma informed care, and how we prevent trauma. And there's actually this building block kind of framework to help buffer that and one of the pieces is relationships, having those safe spaces and those strong relationships. And when we focus so much on the gift buying and miss out on the gift giving and that connection, we miss a huge opportunity to build relationship and create that psychological safety with that person.

Kim Sneath  12:05

That's beautiful. I agree.

Barb Fletcher  12:08

It was interesting. Yesterday, my husband went to have an iPad repaired his iPad. And I jokingly said that you I said you could pick me up the latest iPhone, because I've been thinking about possibly trading up. And he texts me back and says, you know, What model do you want? And what I recognized in that, I don't really need another iPhone, my iPhones working fine. Guy like one perhaps but do I need it? No. And what I recognize was the feeling or the emotion that he cared about me? Yeah, and would actually get me the iPhone, if I really wanted it and needed it. As opposed to actually having it in my hand. And so I sat with that and thought, Oh, now that's really what, what matters to me.

Kim Sneath  13:11

What you just said about you can feel it inside. And that is the true essence of gift giving. You didn't even need to receive the gift to have felt the love to have felt the attention to have felt the thought. That's where it's the thought that counts comes in. Beautiful. Magic. Yeah, it can be as simple as a card.

Deb Timmerman  13:35

So what can we do to help people shift that mindset from stuff to experiences?

Kim Sneath  13:43

Okay, are we talking Christmas? Or just in general?

Deb Timmerman  13:46

I think both actually. 

Kim Sneath  13:48

And why do people get so into watching those holiday movies? Are we watching scenes of people opening huge amounts of gifts. It's somebody falling in love. It's somebody finally coming home for Christmas. It's somebody realizing that they mattered. It's the person who has been estranged from their family who finally connects. Christmas has a chance to connect. Do that just keep it that simple. Do that and think, How can I show connection and I want to honor to people who do show connection through gifts because you guys might know the book I'm sure you do the five love languages, and one of them is gift giving. So for the person who really does really they love gift giving you know if you can find out what the love languages of the person that you're giving a gift to give them that and then express to others. I love gifts. They probably know that about you by this point anyway if you're married or whatever, and then give them a short list of like what I really love would love is x y z. What I really don't need is this, letting people know what your favorite flight Neighbors sense colors, you know ahead of time that can be helpful favorite writers, novels, music, just to allow people to be able to do something that's original. But within a context, I don't know if that answer your question. 

Deb Timmerman  15:18

I love that. I think that applies beyond Christmas. If that's always the way you approach gift giving, then it doesn't matter if it's Christmas or a birthday, or you just want to do something special for someone.

Kim Sneath  15:31

Yeah, that's it. That's it connection, we all crave connection. So beyond Christmas and the holidays, I'm very interested in working with people on their relationship to clutter and stuff. What is underneath that? Why does it or did it feel like, why did it feel good to shop and overshot? Why did it feel good to bring more stuff in, but now it doesn't. So there's a shift that has happened there. Otherwise, they wouldn't be calling and wanting to do something about it. And usually, it's gotten bad enough, or they've had clutter long enough. And they're starting to see the things that are blocking it. I can't have people over all those things that I mentioned earlier, I'm not dating, I'm not eating right, and so on and so forth. I can't clean up my house just simply. And so the scale start to shift, where the clutter becomes overwhelming. It becomes exhausting. It becomes like they're escaping from their home. suffocating a lot of people say. So then where I talk about, well, what would you gain if you didn't have those things? Freedom, space, is simplicity. Like living in a hotel. We often I get them to visualize and they're like, oh, so they dream about that. And when we start to focus on what you'll get, rather than what you're going to lose by giving up the stuff. And also another thing I say with people with their clothes and say they still have price tags on the the bought things. They don't fit into them. They was expensive. And I said, Well do you do you want to open a closet full of guilt and regret? Or do you want to open a closet where you're excited to get dressed for the morning and go out?

Barb Fletcher  17:22

I always have the great reset. We spend some time in Costa Rica. And I can pack everything I need in a bag. Yeah. And I live with What's in that bag for three months. And I come back and I go, why do I have all of this? Yes. Because I was pretty comfortable with two pairs of shoes, three or four pairs of shorts. A few shirts and didn't need to purchase anything.

Kim Sneath  17:55

Yeah. And what did you take with you? Your absolute favorites? The stuff that fits the stuff that's comfortable the stuff that's going to look good when you get take photos? Why do we have all these other stuffs? Things?

Deb Timmerman  18:10

Kim,  where do our listeners connect with you?

Kim Sneath  18:14

The easiest would be to go to my website, which is Kim Sneath.com. That's KIMSNEATH. On there right now, I have a pop up. So go to that. It's the declutter game. And that's my free gift to all your listeners, which is me teaching people in a five minute video exactly how to declutter. It's what I do with my paying clients, whether they're virtual, or whether they're local. And you can I talk about clothes, because it's the simplest thing. But you can apply it to your books, you can apply it to your kitchen to all sorts of stuff, not to papers, just to clarify, that's a different process. But you can watch that video, take your phone into your closet, and within a couple of hours, apply it and clear out your clutter, very easy.

Deb Timmerman  19:02

This was a really rich episode. And usually we do a call to action at the end, but there are like five things, five nuggets I took from this. So if we could pick one Barb, what do you think it should be for our listeners this week?

Barb Fletcher  19:18

I think as we move into this season, just pay attention to the emotion that we have when we're thinking about purchasing something for somebody else. Just what are we feeling? No. Does it need to be stuff? Or can we show up and give of our time?

Deb Timmerman  19:41

Oh, I love that. So, on that note, thank you, Kim for being our guest and we will see you next week.

Kim Sneath  19:47

You're welcome. I was a pleasure. Merry Christmas Happy Holidays to you too.

Deb Timmerman  19:57

Less stress in life is possible. If you're new to this kind of thinking and would like to explore what's possible for you, we'd love to connect. You can reach us through our website at less stress in life.com. That's less stress in life.com