EP: 38: Stress and Seasonal Transitions

Our mission is to give you tools and strategies that will help you move from being stressed to feeling your best.

In this episode we discussed the challenges of seasonal transitions and ways to transition from one season to another with ease.  

Co-hosts Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher are certified HeartMath® Trainers, and certified stress educators, who are skilled at helping people discover the power of living form the heart.  To take the Stress and Wellbeing Assessment in Canada, click here. To take the Stress and Wellbeing Assessment in the US, click here. 

Transcript

SPEAKERS

Barb Fletcher, Deb Timmerman

Deb Timmerman  00:00

You're listening to the less stress in life podcast. Your hosts, Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher are on a mission to help individuals and organizations manage stress and change. Together, they bring you real conversations, inspirational stories, and strategies to help move you from being stressed to feeling your best. Good morning, everyone. I'm Deb Timmerman, welcome to our series of 52 Practical Tools for Less Stress in Life. This is episode 38. I'm Barry Fletcher, our goal is to give you tools and strategies to help you move from being stressed to being your best. Today, we're going to talk about habits and patterns that come from the transition on our calendar and the different seasons. So, September is traditionally Back to School Month, football season, pumpkin spice, you know, all those things. But for most people, the fall season has a lot more structure than the summer season does and it seems like some people are having a tough time with some of those transitions. So, Barb, do your routines from summer to fall differ?

Barb Fletcher  01:16

I think so we live on a lake. So, we're blessed. We have probably more visitors and more family gatherings. We probably stay up later and socialize more as we move into the fall. It gets dark earlier. And I think that our behaviors change, and we go back to a different routine. Fall was always a good time. For me. I was always excited for all kinds of reasons, and we'll talk about that. But I think there is a difference in the seasons. How about you? 

Deb Timmerman  01:55

Yeah, at our house in the summer, it's all about my husband's golf schedule. Truly, my schedule revolves around that. So, we play together on Mondays and every other Friday and he also golf's Tuesday evenings, Wednesday evenings, and Sunday mornings. So, our whole meal structure and how we plan our day revolves around that. And I do have a hard time even from winter to spring, as we start playing of meal planning and figuring out the change in my schedule and calendar, and we to live on a lake. So, there's kids here extra in the summertime, lots of outings, I think a lot more spontaneous stuff happens where in this time of year, it's much more structured. And we're now navigating, attending all the kids' sports events and cheerleading camps, and you know, all of that stuff. So, there is a distinct difference for us from season to season. 

Barb Fletcher  02:56

I think some people thrive on that spontaneity and then there are others of us who like things to have a certain order. And I'm probably one of those people that does better with order rather than chaos. I think that's a bit about how I'm wired. And so maybe that's the reason I like for better because I think that even though it may not be on an outward perspective, that I'm stressed, or I'm experiencing stress with the spontaneity and perhaps some more of the chaos, I think there is more of that actually happening on the inside. 

Deb Timmerman  03:38

So do you think that you thrive in fall, and you survive in summer or you just like fall better because it feels more comfortable to you to have structure?

Barb Fletcher  03:49

Well, it's interesting, because we spend time in a warm climate, January, February, March. And it probably has to do with how much chaos is actually happening. Because in that environment, I thrive. But it's very isolated. And it I have much more control over those kinds of things that are coming at me. And so, in the fall here, you know, we're meals are regular. My practice is probably more disciplined than it might have been through the summer. And the days get shorter seems to be easier to get more sleep.

Deb Timmerman  04:32

Yeah, because it's dark earlier, right. In the summertime, we stay up later. Which kind of brings me to the next topic, kids having a hard time adjusting from summer schedule to school schedule. So, I've been hearing that a lot from my clients these days that they are really struggling with their kids either adjusting to having to go from being really carefree, to having to study or getting up what advice do you have for those transitions?

Barb Fletcher  05:03

I heard someone on the radio speak the other day about how planning ahead and getting into a bit of a pattern so that it's not an abrupt change. And we know that some children do better on a predictable schedule, and others are more just go with the flow, I think it's really getting clear on what it is that your child needs, and how best to support them. And if they need that predictable structure, then it's starting at a little bit earlier. And so, for some parents, that's easy, because they're happy to fall back into a more regular schedule than they might have experienced before. Others me still long for that carefree. And that abrupt change, you know, we need to understand that. As much as we feel it, I think our kids are going to feel it even bigger.

Deb Timmerman  06:01

Well, and for those kids who struggle in school, that's a bigger transition yet, because not only do we go from being carefree to being structured, but now we're tasking their brain with things that don't come easy to them. So, it seems like it's much more difficult for them, and the transition takes longer. Have you had any experience with that at all?

Barb Fletcher  06:27

I think allowing kids and sharing tools with them to actually slow down. That momentum that may have occurred over the summer, the spontaneous behaviors, is really helped. You know, we often say to kids just breathe just for you. It's teaching them techniques to slow that down. So that they sit still, because now we're, you know, they've had a summer where they many of them didn't sit still for two and a half months. And now we're sending them to a place where they have to sit in a chair. And we know that even for us, that may not be easy. So, I think that there are some quieting the mind spending some quiet time maybe in the evenings, just reinforcing that behavior that they're going to have to employ when they're at school.

Deb Timmerman  07:25

Yeah, and I would add to that, if your child is one of those kids who really does struggle in school, keeping yourself regulated and in a calm space, and not adding to the emotional angst of those interchanges between you and your child is really important. Because the kids take on this thought that they're less than they're dumb, they're stupid, they can't get this. They're the cause of frustration. And even though it can be very frustrating, being in that grounded space, and coming from a loving and caring place, and a regulated place, gets you farther than if you're tussling with your child, I have lots of experience with that with one of my grands.

Barb Fletcher  08:13

That's so important that I remember working with a nurse who said to me, short day shift, and she would go home at the end of the day, and she said, I have nothing left to give my children. I'm just at the end of my rope. Everybody wants to eat, there's homework to be done. And these kids are involved in activities, and I have nothing left. I'm on a stand. And so that was chaos, and I'm using that evening for her. And so, I suggested to her that she just take a few minutes, five, in fact, to sit in the car when she pulled in the driveway and implemented a practice that we were working on. And the next week, she came back, and she said to me, You're not going to believe this. And I said, What? And she said, well, my kids have changed. And the truth is the kids didn't change aware. So, you're absolutely right, the more we have the ability to self-regulate and show up in that calm, composed state, we absolutely have the ability to influence those around us.

Deb Timmerman  09:25

That's really important because our physical and mental drains show up, physically, they show up emotionally, but yet there's this carryover to relationships and to everything that we do. It doesn't leave anything untouched. So, if we don't have enough energy, we can't be our best.

Barb Fletcher  09:44

Absolutely. And we often forget that it impacts those other things. And we label it as the kits are difficult. They're challenging, they're tired. They're a whole bunch of other things. When if we can self-regulate and kind of get our, our self in alignment, we can influence that in a much more positive way.

Deb Timmerman  10:10

I think it's worth mentioning that being able to be aware of how you're feeling throughout the day is super important. And taking a couple of minutes to pause and recharge those batteries, with something as simple as breath work really helps to reduce the amount of fatigue at the end of the day and leaves you with something left in your tank to bring to your kids or the rest of the day homework supper. So, we often carve out time to do particular physical activities during the summer, because it's easy, but we don't always make that transition to keeping those up in fall. So, a lot of times our time away, or our our recharge time. And if we don't build that into our day, what happens is we just get rundown, burned out frustrated, and that does spill over again to everything

Barb Fletcher  11:08

I think fall is a particularly difficult time for parents as well, because perhaps they're juggling more than they might have during that summer work. And, and not every parent loves the structure like the child like I mean, some parents may along for that carefree behavior as well. So, I think it's really about that self-awareness, that understanding of what's what you are bringing to the conversation in the situation. That should be top of mind, before you try and unpack what everybody else is experiencing?

Deb Timmerman  11:49

I'm kind of chuckling because I remember when it came time to be the end of summer, and the kids were going back to school. As a mom, I couldn't wait for that to happen. And then at some point during the year, I couldn't wait for school to be done and pee on summer, so that it would be a little bit more relaxed. And the truth is it was never more relaxed. Because each season comes with its own challenges. During the summer, I had to find childcare if I was working. And that was always a biggie. During the school year, it was navigating sports and homework. So the challenges don't change, just the time of year changes.

Barb Fletcher  12:28

The most important thing here is taking care of self so that we have something to bring to others around us. No matter what the season ends. Some seasons may be easier if that's one that two were more aligned with for us to find those activities to self-regulate. We just shouldn't ignore it regardless. 

Deb Timmerman  12:53

I think carving out time in your calendar and making yourself a priority and getting those things scheduled, even if its breath breaks during the day. Often our clients will set a timer, and two or three or four times a day, they'll get a little ping that says take a moment and take a few breaths. It can be as simple as that. But often moms and dads are left to the end, everybody else's stuff comes first on a calendar. So please, if you're not doing something to take care of yourself, take a few minutes and get that on your calendar, it can be a huge help. So we've talked a lot about small habits, micro habits, those small things that add up over time, what are some habits or small steps people can take to make a difference and make sure that this transition from summer to fall and beyond is smooth for them?

Barb Fletcher  13:54

I have a calendar, so I know what's expected, and I probably have a good look at it the night before so that the next day there aren't any surprises, like be upping your water intake and just being more conscious about that. I was working with a client this week and her nervous system I can tell it is a bit on overload. And she said I don't have any time to practice. And so, you know, I said well, maybe you can practice when you're in the car when you're driving. And she said well in the morning, I talked to my mom. And I remember I used to do that and how how wonderful that was. But she said on the way home, I don't do anything. So now there's an expectation that she'll find that time when she's driving on her way home to do that reset in that practice. So it's really about finding ways to weave in these micro habits in detail. things that we're already doing. So it doesn't feel like it's more of a burden. And if you have difficulty trying to figure out how to do that, Deb and I have worked with a lot of people, and we're happy to have a conversation with you, to help you weave those little micro habits into how you spend your day, so it doesn't feel like it's more effort and more work.

Deb Timmerman  15:26

Yeah, amen to that. So here's our call to action this week, notice how the routines have changed for you, and how they're affecting you and your family. And if you're having a challenge, making those transitions, as Barb said, reach out to us there are tools to help you widen that window of stress tolerance, and make you feel better. We offer a free stress and wellbeing assessment to everyone and a complimentary view of that, along with some initial recommendations of skills that you can use, excuse me, and tools. We also host a monthly we add Heart Meditation, it's at 7pm, Eastern 8pm. Atlantic time. That's a mouthful. And it's a wonderful way to learn to use some of these practices in a group environment and in a guided format, so you don't have to have your camera on. You don't have to talk to anybody. You just have to show up and tune in. So all the links to those registrations are in the show notes. And until next week, we wish you all a wonderful week. Less stress in life is possible. If you're new to this kind of thinking and would like to explore what's possible for you. We'd love to connect. You can reach us through our website at less stress in life.com. That's less stress in life.com