EP 28: Building a Social Support System with Melissa Randall

Our mission is to give you tools and strategies that will help you move from being stressed to feeling your best.

Our guest Melissa Randall of Intentional Hope joins us for a discussion on building a social support system. Melissa is the founder of Intentional Hope, a personal growth and leadership development organization geared toward empowering women. She opened the door to Studio Hope in Charlotte, MI in November 2021. 

She worked in medical administration positions for over 25 years, managing a large Orthopedic Group and a multidisciplinary provider group, providing ancillary services to residents in Michigan nursing home facilities. She believes in servant leadership and is a John Maxwell Certified Leadership team member. 

Co -hosts Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher, are certified HeartMath® Trainers, and certified stress educators, who are skilled at helping people discover the power of living form the heart.  To take the Stress and Wellbeing Assessment in Canada, click here. To take the Stress and Wellbeing Assessment in the US, click here. 

Transcript

SPEAKERS

Barb Fletcher, Deb Timmerman, Melissa Randall

Melissa Randall  00:00

You're listening to the Less Stress in Life podcast. Your hosts, Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher are on a mission to help individuals and organizations manage stress and change. Together, they bring you real conversations, inspirational stories, and strategies to help move you from being stressed to feeling your best. Hello, everyone. I'm Deb Timmerman. Welcome to our series of 52 practical tools for less stress in life. This is episode 28.

Barb Fletcher  00:33

I'm Barb Fletcher. Our goal is to give you tools and strategies to help you move from being stressed to feeling your best. Today we have a special guest, Melissa Randall, who is going to share her expertise about creating a community of support. Melissa is the founder of intentional hope, a personal growth and leadership development organization geared towards empowering women. She opened the door to Studio Hope, in Charlotte, Michigan, in November 2021. She worked in medical administration positions for over 25 years managing a large orthopedic group and a multidisciplinary, provider group providing services to residents in Michigan nursing home facilities. She believes in servant leadership and is a John Maxwell certified leadership. Team member. Welcome, Melissa.

Melissa Randall  01:29

Hi, thank you so much. We're excited to have you here today. Tell us about Intentional Hope. What is it? So intentional hope is my initial brand and references my coaching program. So I work with individuals and teams who are searching for clarity in life or in the workspace, people who are looking to pick up the pieces of life and figure out where they need to go next, whether it be for their passions, financial freedom, or overall wealth. What inspired you to launch Intentional Hope? My past, I think. My pains, thing, things that I worked through and discovered, I always say that people should never have to wait till their 40s or 50s to figure out their worth and their true gifts, and so when you know things and you learn things you have to share.

Barb Fletcher  02:23

Life experience such a teacher. 

Melissa Randall  02:26

Yes. 

Barb Fletcher  02:28

So in a previous conversation you had with them, you mentioned that you wanted to create a community of support. Tell us about how Studio Hope helps you meet that goal.

Melissa Randall  02:40

Yeah, so I'm in the thick of it. Right now. I'm working towards meeting that goal and growing a Community Studio hope is my space in downtown Charlotte, and it affords me the opportunity to bring people together to bring value to the table to bring meet women where they are today right now. And bring them into a space where they can learn how to deal with things that they're struggling with or just to get new ideas. We do fun things we host speaking events. We do fun ladies events. We have a book club, but it allows people to show up and walk in the door and feel cared for. You just moved to Charlotte, not that long ago, you were on the north side of Grand Rapids, and you... How many miles away? Over an hour away. I don't know the exact miles. But most people that would be like a scary experience. How did you plug into your new community? So, in the beginning, it was tough. I moved here in 2020, when I married my husband, and so it was the pandemic in full force. And I just used that downtime to really dig into who I was and what I was looking for, and recognize that no matter where I was, I could have done that work in the community. And I needed people and I need people still because like you said, I'm new to this area. I don't know everything and everyone. So I just It's my servant leadership heart, I think to be a part of something and to serve others, so I just decided to go for it and it was scary. But it's so worth it. You're a pretty outgoing person. You're bubbly, vivacious and your hobbies pretty much that way too. What about for women who are more quiet or maybe introverts? How would they plug in if they're going to a new community? I think the most important thing that I could say and I have a lot of friends who are polar opposite for me, very quiet, very reserved. I think it's okay to show up as you are. I think it's okay to walk in the door and be who you are. Sit with it and I as the outgoing personality and the bubbly person, I'm learning more and more to be in tune with the have people who are not and to meet them where they are. So I think it's okay take the chance there are people out there, even though they're bubbly and vivacious they care and they care about your personality and your space as well.

Barb Fletcher  05:13

It's interesting because we often spend less time listening and more time talking and when we actually truly listen and we truly hear, then we get a better sense of how we connect with that person.

Melissa Randall  05:26

Yes.

Barb Fletcher  05:29

So I think today, people will leave that because we're so connected through many social networks, you know, whether it be social media, that should you know, that social connection, that would be all they really need. How's that differ from working with a coach?

Melissa Randall  05:48

Oh, yeah. So I actually worked with a couple of coaches. And when I started working with a coach, it's what really shifted and changed my life. I knew that what I was doing before, relying on friends and family and talking about all my woes and my struggles, while they're supportive and wonderful, they weren't really geared to help me reach my goals, or to take that next step and to hold me accountable. So for me, that was huge. They genuinely care about you. They're there for you, to help guide you without judgment. To help you figure out what's within you and to dig deep, you actually have to do the work with the coach. But they're there, like you said to listen.

Barb Fletcher  06:38

it's interesting, because we all you know, we may have hundreds or 1000s of connections, but they're not necessarily connections that if we really got into a jam, that we could pick up the phone, and give them a call. They may be just people we observe and people we see and when I look at connection, I look at how many of those people if I really needed help, would I pick up the phone and call?

Melissa Randall  07:07

Yes, I do think there is value in being connected to different types of people, it brings diversity, when you when you're a part of a community, it helps you feel like you're part of something bigger, but You're 100%, right, you do need that small group, the people that you let into your inner circle. You know, your coaches and people who have experienced things to be able to go to and show who you are, what you're struggling with, and where it feels safe. Where you know, you're going to get the attentive ear, the fair response, the real talk. And sometimes they'll call you out on stories that you've manufacturing forever. And how can you break that cycle? We all do that. I think, you know, we tell ourselves these stories over and repeatedly. And you're 100%. Right? There are some people, our friends and our family are sometimes invested and are staying exactly the way that we are. We're a coach is invested in you becoming exactly who you are meant to be. So I think that's the big mind was the big mind blow for me. Right? It was it. Yeah, everyone around me cares about me and loves me. I have a great network and support for friends. But it's my responsibility to figure out what's really going on with me. And the coach allows me to show up, do the work, non judgmental and supportive.

Barb Fletcher  08:39

It's such an interesting perspective, that you just share that your friends and family may be invested in us doing exactly who you are, because that's really accurate. Because as we change as we grow, their discomfort may in fact, increase.

Melissa Randall  09:01

While we're all comfortable, right? And we love being in a safe space, especially with the people that we love. And sometimes it's hard when people start to shift and grow, to understand why they're changing and it feels like it's something that's happening to us, and it really has none of us at all. It's about and if you find yourself in that place, that is the red flag, that is the message that it's time for you to do the work to. So you know, when you see other people shifting and growing, it's a good time to reflect. Why is it such an important thing to have a community of support? What does that do for our well being?  Oh, gosh, well as you talk about frequently, it's a healthy thing. Right? It helps relieve stress when you feel like you're part of something and you've accomplished it you live a more fulfilled life. When you are together with people, you laugh, you learn about other people the knowledge that's around you. And going back to the social piece. Yes, I believe that I'm grateful for the ability that we had for social connection for so long, because it was the only thing that we had for a long time. But now we're able to reconnect together in a room with each other. And I don't know about you, but like, I smile from Cheek to Cheek when I see people in my studio or when I go out to dinner with friends. It's just that connection. We're geared for it, we're made for it.  Yeah, I don't think that people realize that there's a biological component to that wiring, but those interactions and those relationships actually generate feel good chemicals in our body. Opiate, like chemicals in our body that help us feel good. Oxytocin, we just see the outward sign, never the science behind it. So when all that was missing, that was a big deal for people. Missing that social connection. I'm all in for the in person meetings and gatherings and events.

Barb Fletcher  11:15

We've had friends visiting for the last week from a city, you know, a 12 hour drive from us, although they flew. And we have developed over the course of the week. Such a deep connection. You know, we were good friends, but just being in the space together, it really has been wonderful. 

Melissa Randall  11:37

Yes.  Melissa, you something coming up at Studio Hope in August.  Yeah, 

Deb Timmerman  11:43

Tell us a little bit about that.

Melissa Randall 11:45

Sure. So, on August 5, I'm a part of a group, a community of women called Learn Earn Impact. And it is a group geared towards social sellers, people that are in the online space, some small business owners, and it helps them understand and learn how to show up in the online space as authentically who they are, and how it can help them get leads, gained business. Also, we're have a one-day event where the ladies from Learn Earn Impact (LEI) are flying into Charlotte while they're flying into Detroit, but they're coming to Charlotte for the one day event where they're going to be there. And they're going to do on stage coaching. We're going to have swag bags, breakout sessions, q&a. So, anybody who's interested or in that online space and wants to talk on social media, and show up as their best selves, this is an event for them.

Deb Timmerman  12:45

That's wonderful. And where can folks sign up if they're interested? 

Melissa Randall  12:48

So there is an Eventbrite link on my Intentional Hope page and my personal page, Melissa Randall. And you can go to event, right and look up learn earn impact 2022.

Deb Timmerman  13:01

Okay, so connect with Melissa! We will also put those connection points in our show notes as well, so that you can connect with her. We know that social support is one of the important pieces that you can do to help your health and well-being. Sometimes people ask, how do you measure that we have a tool called the stress and wellbeing assessment that helps you measure social support. So our call to action this week is if you don't know where you're at, with how much social support you have, reach out to one of us. And we will guide you through the use of that tool, the stress and wellbeing assessment. So you can follow the links to get that assessment, also in the show notes. And then we'd like you to think about your support systems this week. If they're not as strong as you'd like them to be, or you think they should be, reach out to Barb, Melissa or myself and have a conversation about how to strengthen that I can relate about moving Melissa because I moved to not as far as you. But I live in a different county a couple counties over and it was very different connecting with especially during the pandemic. So, I think most of all, we can provide that listening ear for you and give you some direction if you're stuck and help you get back on track and building your social network and the networks that you need for support and knowing difference. Any final words from you, Melissa?

Melissa Randall  14:34

I just appreciate the opportunity. I am so honored and grateful. And I am looking to build a community. So anybody out there listening, like you said, please reach out. I have opened doors and welcome

Deb Timmerman  14:49

Barb, any final words from you before we wrap up?

Barb Fletcher  14:53

Nope! It's fabulous,

Deb Timmerman  14:55

Bye everybody. Have a great week.

Melissa Randall  14:57

Thank you ladies!

Deb Timmerman  15:01

Less stress in life is possible. If you're new to this kind of thinking and would like to explore what's possible for you, we'd love to connect. You can reach us through our website at less stress in life.com. That's less stress in life.com