Less Stress In Life

Healing from Trauma

July 07, 2021 Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher Season 1 Episode 20
Less Stress In Life
Healing from Trauma
Show Notes Transcript

Anna Cley is a transformative artist, author, opera singer, and artistic director who is passionate about growth, empowerment, and transcendence. She believes that individuals who overcome their limiting beliefs and dare to follow their heart can find true happiness and freedom, allowing them to care more for others, and to make the world a better place.

A native of France, she is performed on the stage of Carnegie Hall and in the title role of Carmen, after a successful career as a rocket scientist. She's the founding president of the nonprofit Vocalise, seeking to empower those who experienced trauma, celebrating the universal statement that our own truth is the best treasure of all. Her book, The Journey of the Heart is a philosophical tale of courage, freedom and love for children and adults alike, and a beautiful reminder that no matter what our circumstances are, and how we're born, the future is ours to write. 

Deb Timmerman:

You're listening to Less Stress in Life, with hosts Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher. We believe life with less stress and more energy is possible with the right tools, strategies and knowledge. So, we bring your real conversations around the stress of relationships, money, and the daily hassles of life with guests that will inspire, challenge, entertain, and motivate you to take action. Our guest today is Anna Cley, a transformative artists author, opera singer, and artistic director who's passionate about growth, empowerment and transcendence. She believes that individuals who overcome their limiting beliefs and dare to follow their heart can find true happiness and freedom, allowing them to care more for others, and to make the world a better place. A native of France, she has performed on the stage of Carnegie Hall and in the title role of Carmen, after his successful career as a rocket scientist. She's the founding president of the nonprofit Vocalise, seeking to empower those who experienced trauma, celebrating the universal statement that our own truth is the best treasure of all, her book. The journey of the heart is a philosophical tale of courage, freedom and love for children and adults alike. And a beautiful reminder that no matter what our circumstances are, and how we're born, our future is ours to write Anna, we are so pleased to have you as a guest today.

Anna Cley:

I'm so pleased to be here with you. Thank you, you have a rather unique life journey. Tell us a bit about how you scientists to opera singer to transformative artists, as always difficult to start on this one. Because I believe that was always looking for meaning in my life. And to since I was a very young child, and because of that I was passionate about astrophysics when I was a kid. And then, when I was 12, I was discovered by a voice teacher who open up Award, a new world to me, the first lesson she asked me if I want you to be an opera singer. And she planted a seed in my brain that you know, of the potential teacher that I had no idea, existed for me. I grew up in an environment when where I basically had no choice to be an engineer. And being an artist was never an option. So I start saying, you know, as a teenager, then I really loved singing, and I wanted to be an opera singer. But when it came time to choose what to do next, wasn't given a choice. And I became an engineer. And because of my previous passion for Astrophysics, I thought maybe I can find a compromise. And and I became an aerospace engineer and worked as a rocket scientist for the French space agency for some time, until I burned out, because I couldn't find meaning in this career. And I came back to a proceeding later on, after quitting my career as an engineer.

Deb Timmerman:

So you left France, according to your website, with a suitcase and your clothes in it, and basically left to start this new career.

Anna Cley:

Yeah, so. So I was in France, I lived in France when I shifted to opera singing. And it was really difficult to, to find my place really, because I didn't have the practical course that's required for classical music. You know, it's a very demanding world. It's not, because you're good that you get a job you to need to show your resume and have a lot of connections network. So I burned out another time. But it was different this time is worse because I was very unsatisfied with myself actually, I wasn't satisfied with where I was in life, with the fact that I couldn't thrive the way I wanted to, and just came a point where I felt like I have nothing to lose. So I took a leap of faith and I left everything behind and just left with a suitcase and a backpack. to North America, and just to, you know, I mean, learn to live again, something like that, you know. Sometimes in life, you have to recover from trauma or difficult experiences, and sometimes it's just you and yourself. And it was the case at this time. I was just really unhappy with myself. So I really learned the power of the present moment, when I arrived in the in Canada, actually. So I went to Canada, I went to Montreal first. And from there, my journey took me to New York, and I met people, you know, I came alone on this continent. But when you reconnect with life, when you let it happen, like it's truly magical, like a lot of things happen to you, when you, you become able to follow this inner guidance, we tend to forget, when caught up in the, in the daily life caught up in our own expectations, or expectations others have from us. So that's, that was truly beautiful and magical. And that's how I arrived to the US. And from there, you know, I did some paperwork to have the Visa, and to live here, because, surprisingly, I felt home for the first time in my life. I said surprisingly, because they moved a lot, I moved around a lot since I was a child. And I just never felt home anywhere. And I love nature. And I always thought, Oh, if we'd feel home one day when I'm in the mountains, and I will have like, a cute house in the mountains. And I arrived in New York with my suitcase, in my backpack, really, truly nothing. I basically sang in the subway to pay my food and my teachers. That's what what it was. And I just felt home, I couldn't explain that I was in the middle of this big city. And it was, I have to say here, you know,

Deb Timmerman:

Was it the sense of having freedom of your personal choice?

Anna Cley:

Yeah, in reverse? retrospective, it's absolutely what happened is that finally, actually felt free for the first time, I felt free. Because I could reinvent my life, I could create it. And also, you know, we're talking about very different culture. And when you arrive in New York Anyway, what you discover is that people believe here, millions of people that if you have a dream, and you work for it, and you believe it will happen, but where I'm from in Europe is very conservative and, or tradition, etc. So basically, there, if you have a dream, it's very nice, but you know, take a nine to five job, et cetera, like, literally, everyone will try to discourage you. And you don't really understand that, because that's the environment you you grew up in. And so for me, it was very refreshing to meet people who met me as a human being as a person without his introduction, of course, now, it's been a while in here, so yeah, it's not as simple, you know, black and white, of course. But yeah, I was very charmed by that.

Barb Fletcher:

Anna it's so interesting that, for most people, the thought of beginning a new life in New York would not necessarily believe that they had found home if they've lived in other places around the world. So I think you're absolutely right., when we're able to quiet things a bit, were able to be really clear on those things that resonate with us . You'vew ritten a new book, The Journey of the Heart. Tell us a little bit about what inspired you to write that book, and a little bit about the message.

Anna Cley:

So The Journey of the Heart, interestingly, came to me in a vision when I traveled through Canada, seven years ago, seven years and a half ago now. And, you know, when you were foreign, you're in North America, you cannot stay very long in your country on a tourist visa. So I went to Canada, then I went to New York and I felt home and I wanted to stay, but I couldn't. So I went back to Canada. And traveling from one city to to another, I went to Toronto, Quebec City, etc. And it was wintertime, and snowy and beautiful. And a lot of things, like I mentioned before, put themselves into place; Like, the opportunity to stay at someone that they had met in the subway in New York, like, like, things like that. And actually, why did they come to New York in the first place was because when I was in Canada, Montreal, three people who didn't know each other said, Oh, if you go to New York at that date, let's do that. Let's go to a Metropolitan Opera, or you have to do this seminar, whatever, in a three day time frame. And I thought, you know, what? I heard you, I heard you a universal power. I don't know what it was, there was this very clear message, let's go there.The second example, that I will share with you today, because it really shows the power of the present moment and, and the power of the hearts. So it was in New York. And like I said, Before, I didn't really have money to really have anything and, and it's very expensive to live in New York. And maybe it was a Thursday night, I was supposed to continue my trip and go back to Canada, through Niagara Falls, it's rough, but I felt home like explain. And I'm like sticking to this greater power that you call how you want those sources that God that I don't I don't know, to me, doesn't really matter the name but, and I and I said in my heart, okay, all I can pay for one month, a friend is $350. If it is my path to stay, this is what I can do. There was a Thursday night, the Friday. So the following day, around noon, I had a meeting with someone I had met at the hostel, a Russian girl student studying English, who was looking for a place and she was looking for a place to stay and we have coffee, and I asked Okay, did you find something? Oh, yes, I found something. It's super clean. Oh, wow. How much does it cost $350. And they're looking for another girl. So that was like, okay, so we worked out like this. So that's, you know, the origin of the journey of the heart is a real life experience. And so many stories like that. So anyway, I come back to Canada, snowy winter. And then I have this vision, if I may see your first show, to provide a beautiful experience for others who are no agents, but infusing positive messages that, you know, dare to take your leap of faith, the future does not equal your past. Everything is possible. Because I really feel it's very needed. You know, you meet so many people around the world who wait to be retired to leave their life. So sad. It's really, really sad, because not only they don't leave the life they want at all. And then they reach a point where can it's too late. But because they don't allow themselves to be happy. They do want others to be happy. And I always felt like if you're happy and fulfilled, you make the world a better place already, just with your own happiness also, because because you feel happy, you care more for others, you're more inclined to help others. And so it seems very simple. But these take taking this leap of faith in the moment to rub the cooling you have itches the world already. You don't need to know all the next steps or how it's going to unfold because life unfolds on its own. If you are your heart is open so the journey of the heart was meant to be a show with a singer and a dancer and your visual arts I had this great vision and right away the title came to me and the name of the characters Milan drought the girl and unique the boy and I started to do a vision board where I stayed of you know with a lot of keywords like freedom and and journey and and Billy Either one of these, and I started to write the scenes. And I stopped in the middle, you know, came back to New York. And for some reason I could not finish the story. I needed my own life, to unfold to know how to end it. And I say in the past two years, it's happened that there was able to finish the story. And I will share a secret that they don't think I shared with anyone quite yet. But it's because I met the person that I'm with now who, just meeting him, it helped me solve the puzzle. And so I found in this nonprofit you mentioned before vocalese was still a lot of work to do to make actions independently didn't help, we got delayed, but they the dream behind Vocalise is to empower those who went through trauma. So it can be physical, emotional. And then, you know, so many people, I think everyone went through trauma, when we are the other. So it's very broad, mainly for children. It can be for for orphans, it can be for a child who has cancer, and they lose something there or they have an accident. The origin story was pedophilia, incised emotional abuse spurts, you know, when you look at it, it's so needed. So my dream is to infuse positive messages through a story that is very nice, beautiful. So it's not therapy is more about opening imagination, and have them hear, Yeah! it's possible, you can do what you want with your life. Because we come to this world, all of us with a unique flame with a unique soul. And also with the ability to adapt. They're just how we come You know, the babies in the womb, I can say, because I'm pregnant right now. That's Yeah, that's the story but, the baby comes to the world in here depths from the start to his mom, and then he adapts to the world is going to learn etc. This is great, because we're social animals. But the downside is, they lose themselves that their unique identity gets lost in the society in the parents. So if you have parents who are abusive, in some ways, it completely tame, the personality of his child. And that stays and then you have to re-learn who we are. And we are unique. So people try to find models around them all with this person is greatest for I want to be like that. It's not possible because there's only one person like you. So coming back to The Journey of the Heart, that's what I wanted to stress on is that we were here because the world is whole with you in it. And with you, when you love yourself, with you, when you embrace who you are. It gives you a new light, that the light is the world is missing something new, it became a book, what's what's supposed to be a show, became a book is now published, was released last month. I still have this dream of immersive experience, which is why I created a song that goes with the book and meditation and my my dream right now is that it's adapted into an animated movie. Because there always has also this question, how do you reach those children who are not identified as having a trauma, which was you know, my story, and it's very universal. You have so many kids something and they can tell anyone because no one listens? No one believes or they're told, oh, you're a big person, it's a secret. So this hope we need to finance by sharing something hopeful like that, that I do hope that you can share that message. So yeah, The Journey of the Heart that's what it is. Dare there to take the leap of faith the future does not equal your past does not define you in there to follow your dream your calling, reconnect to your true self and, and have courageous so because reconnecting to who you are this is what takes courage. It's not really the take the leap of faith is daring to go deep and and see what happens inside.

Deb Timmerman:

You have had a very interesting isn't even the word to define your life. You've done so many things. experienced so many things, and I heard some moments of real panic and stress, as you were describing landing in New York filled with excitement. But yet, but yet, there's that trepidation of, am I going to be okay. Share with our listeners what your stress relief tip was what got you through those moments and kept you going.

Anna Cley:

Throughout life throughout my life, I think we all have like instincts and some survival instincts and some we have inputs like there is a death in curse. So you know, as you know, we can be sometimes in very dark places, but there is also this life imperative survival in purse, the one that keeps us going. And in my personal experience what kept me going was that survival instinct, it was never couraged. To me, it was leave the like life being alive. I think maybe sometimes when you have nothing to lose, it's almost helpful. So that's the big idea behind. Now, the ways to cope. There's been several steps in my in my own story. Many years ago, I started to psychoanalysis, it was necessary for me because I knew there were some dark spots, but I didn't know what it was about. And doing that work, helps me unveiled some of the memories that were buried. And it was important that I know, because as soon as I started to talk about it, my suicidal thoughts suddenly disappeared, which I didn't know where they were coming from. And then just the fact that I could name some things that happened. So that would be like for, you know, I would say deep trauma. Therapy, finding someone who can just it's just talking sometimes, you know, psychoanalysis, you don't even have anyone telling you what to do. You have someone to listen. And I think is very, very important. Someone who's not involved emotionally with you. So that's why you know, therapists are more important sometimes that friends are our lover, because the our detection, you need that to have good feedback. So it was many years ago, and then I did watch several things. But what I really loved over the years, is hypnosis. I love hypnosis, because it is solution oriented. And basically, once you name, the origin problem, it's good to find the origin and to put words on it. But how do you break the pattern? How do you really break the pattern? Because that was also the question I've had over the years. Because I've seen it through people, so many people I met in my life who had it from either childhood, or some traumas. And then as they grow up in their adult lives, they keep repeating the same situation. They keep being victims. They keep being abused, put themselves in some situations, and it is not their fault. I think it's the only thing they know, they don't know how to behave differently, or how to be seen differently. Because no one explained that to us. So I wanted to reset my mind, I wanted to reboot my mind. So I did a lot of self hypnosis with recordings and meditation. Finding this way to escape and rewrite my story, on another level really has been very healing to me, or another thing. Actually, there are a lot of things that are helpful, it really depends on the scenario or what's the person is receptive to. So for me that those have been like I would say, the theory of therapeutic steps. But I mentioned a proceeding before that I started when I was 12 hours very introverted and very shy. And opressing is obviously the opposite. And having these teachings, learning how to breathe, how to use my body, how to use my voice, as being extremely helpful over the years, I did not realize until like recently, like a few years ago how healing important that has been for me because I could not express my feelings at all or what I thought, you know, your environment. Again, wasn't I didn't have this opportunity but or pressing because there already are years because there's this stories going on and all these drama like could express my sorrow, my anger, my everything through music is through lines that were already written. And I could scream through singing, of course, it's not screaming, but you know, this film that's hidden inside, then I could, I could let it out. And I didn't know obviously again at the time, what it really meant for me. But opera singing for me has been the greatest healer of all, he helped me embody my body or reemerging my body, it helped me get out of my shell, you know, by being on stage, etc. He helped me overcome. My introversion helped me exist, it became a very social person, very good at networking and I you know, no way I coach others I have with impairment and acting and voicing the same tools that helped me, but it took me a while to see it. And another thing I found very helpful, more than helpful, like necessary. Spending time in nature, going for a walk alone, this time doesn't take so much time that going for a walk and just appreciate the colors of the sky, the singing of the birds, this This, to me is magic. This is life. And this is where I find this daily dose of love Sarah so much love around so much beauty. And appreciate these moments, like even if it's a 10 minutes walk is already something through reconnecting to yourself through or to the flow of life just like without doing nothing will already exist doing nothing. So that sets when you see. Just looking at nature is so enlightening. You see the trees, the flowers going out of stones. And every living being on Earth from plants to animals, they want to leave they we are these survival instinct we overcome problems and obstacle. It's in our it's inside this is an innate to life. And so you see that. And you also see watch that trees are never straight, there is no tree in the world. That is trade they are cooked or a little bit. So I mean, it's reassuring like oh, okay, it's normal.

Deb Timmerman:

Such an analogy for our lives, isn't it? Lots of twists and turns, hiccups, things that happen. Thank you so much for sharing your message of hope with us today. How can our listeners contact you or get your book? Where did they purchase?

Anna Cley:

Oh, the book is available on Barnes and Noble Amazon target. There is a website you can go to the event to listen to the song or have more information about the book. It's the journey half the heart, the journey of the heart to.com. And to find more information about the rest of my work such as music empowerment, coaching or or anything is an honor claim that come in AnnaCley.com. And if you are interested in the nonprofit work, you want our help or you want to help us it's vocalise.org vocalise.org

Barb Fletcher:

Thank you, Anna. It's been an absolute delight. And I know that our listeners are going to appreciate all the wisdom you've shared and the inspiration and hope. Thank you.

Anna Cley:

Thank you very much for having me today.

Deb Timmerman:

Less stress in life is possible. If you're new to this kind of thinking and would like to explore what's possible for you. We'd love to connect. You can reach us through our website at less stress in life.com. That's less stress in life.com