Chandra McBean, Executive Director of the Alzheimer Society of New Brunswick, Canada is our guest this episode. We have a candid conversation about mental health in the work place and how sharing her own struggles, helped her team create a culture of caring and support.
Chandra McBean, Executive Director of the Alzheimer Society of New Brunswick, Canada is our guest this episode. We have a candid conversation about mental health in the work place and how sharing her own struggles, helped her team create a culture of caring and support.
Deb Timmerman 00:01
You're listening to less stress in life with hosts, Deb Timmerman and Barb Fletcher. We believe life with less stress and more energy is possible, with the right tools, strategies and knowledge. So, we bring you real conversations around the stress of relationships, money, and the daily hassles of life with guests that will inspire, challenge, entertain, and motivate you to take action. Our guest today is Chandra McBean Executive Director of the Alzheimer Society of New Brunswick, Canada. She's dedicated to delivering on the mission, vision, growth and success of the organization. By having an intimate understanding of the community and clientele she serves. She calls upon her creativity to lead change and challenge.
Barb Fletcher 00:51
Welcome, Chandra! We're thrilled to have you here today. So, tell us a little bit more about your organization.
Chandra McBean 01:01
There is only one thing I like talking about more than working for the Alzheimer Society, and that's talking about, about my little one. So, I'm happy to share a bit about our organizations. We are located across New Brunswick, we have six resource centers where we provide direct support information and education to individuals who are impacted by dementia, and to those who care for them. We do a lot of work one on one with individuals with dementia and their families. So it's a job that, you know, all of our team is privileged to do, and is one that is more in demand now than it than it ever has been. It's a challenging time to support a not-for-profit these days. Yeah, yeah, that's an understatement. I think, you know, if I look at the organization itself, there's so many facets about the pandemic, that that are impacting our organization. So, if I start at the really grassroots, the people that we serve, have been so dramatically impacted. Whether or not they live in the community, or they care for somebody who lives in the community, support systems and programs that were once available to them to help them navigate the journey, to help them deal with the day to day challenges, aren't being offered right now. They are much more limited, and certainly having a different impacts, because of the public health requirements. If they have a loved one who's in long term care, visiting them is restricted, and then you know, that's at the grassroots level. That is above and beyond just the impacts that we're all feeling of, of the pandemic, the uncertainty, the increased anxiety. And, when you move up in the organization and think about our staff, you know, they're in a situation where we're getting these calls from them, where, they're so tired, and they're, they're anxious, and they're not able to access those supports, and are really struggling. There's really little that we can do to help those individuals, and that's really, really hard when you have a team of empathic, compassionate people who care about what they do and the people that they serve. Then, if you look even a little bit more broader, our ability to fundraise, our ability to do what we do best has been greatly limited. You know, there have been a number of impacts. But I have to say one of the areas where we've really focused a lot of energy is on organizational culture, and I think that couldn't have come at a better time just given the situation we find ourselves in because I do believe our organization has faired better better than others. Because of that, we have a culture where we support one another, where we collaborate well, where we really celebrate and support a work life balance and investing in self care. So, I think when you have a really, really healthy team, I think the outcome that you have at the end is a much better for lack of a better way of describing it a much better product for the people that we serve.
Deb Timmerman 04:10
I love that description. If the leader is healthy, the organization is healthy.
Chandra McBean 04:15
Yeah, you know, that's a that's a really great point. Because I think when the when the culture of the organization is such that team members know that they can ask for help if they need it. They do ask for support if they need it. One of the things that I think on my own mental health journey, I have modeled to my team in being vulnerable, because I was I had to be I think they saw that phrase, it's okay to not be okay. It really enabled leadership within the organization, and it really enabled I guess, the ability for staff to be vulnerable if they so chose as well. We have seen that in the in the last little while as we've been going through this global crisis, right. It's all around us. It's not just at work or at home. It's everywhere. I think, we were able to invest in some of the tools I'm sure we're going to be talking about today with our team at the Alzheimer society, and I know that many of them have drawn on those tools, it's actually become a verb that we use, oh, I, I had to go heartmath. Right, I HeartMath this to death, something that that we hear, and I love hearing that because it tells me that that supportive environment, that supportive culture, where we believed in investing in our team, and their well being is paying off in the end with the service and the warm, open voice that greets them on the other end of the line.
Deb Timmerman 05:35
Typically, people invest in their teams because they've had their own health or mental health challenge, and they've had to reach out for support. Is that how it came about in your journey? Share a little bit of that story with us, if you will.
Chandra McBean 05:51
I'll tell you the professional side, it's a little bit more more, it's easier for me to share that, than it is for the personal, but I will share a bit about the personal as well, because, I think it's hard to separate the two. My first foray, I guess, into investing in and I mean, literally investing financially in self care came from a board member... surprising. So this particular board member worked very, very closely with me, she was in an executive level position. So obviously, an Executive Director works fairly closely with the executive committee, she saw some of my struggles and actually brought forward to the board and investment in my I guess, in my development, so it started with lm II but then directly involved coaching with with Barb actually, which I thought was such a strange thing at the time. When I look back and I say that with affection Barb, that the board was going to invest in, like what I thought at the time was like life coaching, and I know that's not at all what it was, but I was just grateful. But I thought well, this is this is kind of unusual. Sothat was kind of one side of it. From the personal side of things, I've had anxiety my entire life, I've always been a worrier. And that worry or that worry type of approach to life kind of cascaded into a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder, which was not a surprise to anyone who knew me, but it was I would say exacerbated with postpartum anxiety after I had my my daughter. I was doing, (I can laugh about it. Now it wasn't funny at the time,) but I was doing really unusual things that I knew were not like, "normal" and we're symptomatic of something a little bit bigger than myself and an example I had three baby monitors on my on my my newborn baby. There was there was a camera. There was a sound one. and then I had one like to detect her breathing. I was like, Okay, this is this is making me feel better. But this is a symptom of a bigger problems. So, I dealt with it on my own until I went back to work and Barb is going to remember the pizza story. It all kind of fell apart one night when I made pizza for supper. Actually, I didn't even make it. I think I think I picked it up. And I had a complete breakdown at the supper table. Barb, I see you smiling because you remember this story? That sounds ridiculous now, but it was so real to me at the time. In my mind, I had all of these parameters on what it meant to be a good mom to find and I don't know where they came from. They certainly did not come from my mom. My mom was an amazing mother and was/is an incredibly supportive and never told me any of these things. So I don't know where it came from. But in my mind, I had to feed my daughter wholesome home cooked nutritious local, organic, ridiculously unattainable meals. And this particular night I was stressed and I was tired. And I was there was a crisis happening at work and I picked up a pizza on my way home. And as she sat there with pizza sauce smeared all over her face. I cried thinking I had failed as a mother. And it wasn't just that I thought I felt guilty. I was having a panic attack, a full on panic attack about how I was failing as a mother and that was my wake up moment. My husband kind of he just said, Look, I don't know, I don't know what's happening right now. But like look at your kid's face. There is nothing negative about what's happening right now. This is all in your head. That was a wake up moment for me. So it all came to a head with pizza. Barb, guess what I fed my daughter last week for supper and had a good laugh about it. Because of course, like I can look back at it now and realize the guess it was symptomatic, like I said of something much, much, much bigger that was boiling under the surface.
Barb Fletcher 09:38
That's always the case. Because when we when we get triggered, we get triggered about what appears to be obscure experiences or interactions or pizza. And we were lucky when we have a partner or spouse who is tolerant and caring to hold space for us while we're feeling that because you know, there, there really isn't a lot of logic to it, but it's real.
Chandra McBean 10:13
It's very real. And, you know, I'm really glad you acknowledge that because I have looked back and thought, like my spouse, my husband, Craig, he didn't really understand what was happening. And he didn't know the right things to say, God love them, because I don't know what you would have said in those situations. But sometimes it just meant sitting next to me on the couch, or it meant giving me my space. And think there's something to be said about what support looks like. I think people think it's solving the problems for you, and it's not it's it is holding space, sometimes literal space, and figurative space.
Deb Timmerman 10:50
How has your own journey influenced your leadership style?
Chandra McBean 10:54
That's a really great question. I think I could think about some specific examples in terms of things that I've done or conversations I've had with my staff. But I think, I think before I even get to that level, I think it's it's how I see the world. So I've gone from, and I know that sounds really Pollyanna, which is kind of the case, I kind of have a really positive attitude about it all, not that I always had a positive attitude about it. But, I think the way I see and interpret the world is completely different. What is important to me, as an individual, as a human being, is different. I think that the things that once bothered me, and that I would focus on and get stuck on, I don't even notice anymore. So I don't know that I'm articulating this very well, other than to say, I just I think it's not just my leadership, but the way I see the world and what's important, and the lens that I looked through the world has changed. So I mean, to give specific examples, I think I think as a leader, you know, I certainly encourage the team to look at those KPIs and metrics and deliverables beyond the numbers that making sure that the staff feels supported, and that there's a balance between operational needs and personal needs. I think we've done a really great job helping staff understand a work life balance. You know, what I think I think overall, you know, I think our team, rightly or wrongly, saw me going through the journey that I have been on, and I continue to be on. And I'm an open book. So again, rightly or wrongly, when I needed to leave the office, I explained to the to my team members why I was leaving. And I think that there that vulnerability, trying to find a way to articulate it. It's almost like that vulnerability, set a foundation of I guess, sorry, I'm having a hard time articulating it.
Barb Fletcher 12:55
I think it set a foundation of trust,
Chandra McBean 12:58
Definitely of trust, but also like if it if humanized, it humanized the experience, I guess. But trust is a really great way to describe it, because I remember the first meeting I had with my team so so just to kind of take a couple of steps back had my journey with anxiety took ahead when I came back from maternity leave. And I kind of plugged alone in silence, trying to like put out fire by fire, but not really doing anything that was helping or moving me forward. But it kind of came to a head with what I would describe. I have a really good relationship with my doctor. And I know I'm very, very, very, very lucky. But even he's not exactly sure what happened. We think it might have been a major depressive episode, but I hit a wall. And it was terrifying. Like I'm talking, I could not eat, I could not physically eat, I couldn't swallow food. I couldn't sleep, I had a constant state of, like a cat purring of anxiety, in the background, and it would go up and down. But it was constantly there. Medication wasn't working, I could not function. And, I remember the day it was right before a huge event that I was leading. And I had to basically, in my mind, admit defeat to my staff and say, I can't do this, I need time away. And I remember the team saying, "We've got you, like you go home and you'll be well tell us what we need to do to support you. You do this for us, let us do it for you." And in my mind, I thought I was showing weakness to my team. And in being vulnerable and honest, because I honestly didn't know any other way. It's just who I am in terms of like being open and honest about what was happening. And I remember leaving that office feeling like like I had permission, if that's the way to describe it, to go do what I needed to do to be well, not just for me, but for my team. So Yeah, I remember that moment. It's funny, I haven't thought about that in so long. That was about three years ago, two years ago, no, three years ago, I haven't thought about that in a long time. And I remember how terrified I was to be that vulnerable with the staff thinking, Oh, my God, this is the worst thing that a leader can do. A leader should never go to their team and say, I'm sick. And I need some time because I can't do my job. And I really felt like that was the worst thing I could possibly do for my organization. And for this team, and it had the opposite effect. It was empowering and liberating for them in some way.
Deb Timmerman 15:38
We received a diagnosis of cancer or something of that nature, we wouldn't have any trouble having that conversation with our team. Mental Health has always been looked at as something separate, not as part of the whole. So, kudos to you for having the courage to have that conversation. I truly believe that if more leaders had those conversations, more of our teams would be healthy, because it would be the norm. We all have good days and bad days, and we all have times where we're riding the wave, and we can slay that dragon, and times when we can't get out of bed, because everything collapses on us. You obviously didn't get to this state overnight, and you took a lot of steps to get yourself into that space of wellness. Share some of your best tips and tools that you learned along the journey.
Chandra McBean 16:41
Yeah, so there's so many of them, I often refer to to my tools as my as my toolbox. Right? Let me open my toolbox and see what's going to work today. And I do use my tools every single day. You know, but I but I think it's kind of funny to say it this way. But I have often reflected that the fact that I was and I was really really sick, and I say that in terms of my physical health, but also my obviously my mental health. But I think because of that, I don't know if it's just that I appreciate being, feeling really, really good and being healthy right now. And I kind of being as low as I was makes the highs feel higher. I don't know if that if that articulates it well or is exactly what I'm trying to say. But I think what shifted for me was a my ability to be vulnerable because nobody likes feeling vulnerable. At least I don't know anyone who likes feeling vulnerable. So that was one thing. The second was being open minded. I find a lot of this stuff was woowoo kooky when I first started out so the idea of meditation, the idea of of tapping of Reiki of even breathing, breathing beyond what I needed to do to sustain my body. I thought it was all a little out there. And I think there came a point in time where I was like, Okay, I am I am as open as I'm ever going to be I will try anything. I tried acupuncture, I tried different vitamin mixes. Ironically, I resisted trying medication for a long time and BB you you'll remember this, where I've had to talk me through accepting, which sounds so strange now. But accepting that medication wasn't the end of the world, it wasn't a bad thing. How grateful should I be that I live in a world where medications available that helps me be my best. So I think that open mindedness is really important on a journey like this, because in my toolbox, my tools include, you know, heart math, it includes Reiki, it includes, you know, being outside in nature exercise, getting a good night's sleep, which is that's when I still struggle with it's my medication that I take every single day on day and I'm grateful for. It's it's sometimes just a personal day. You know, as moms, I think sometimes we don't think we can take a day without our kids to be just alone by ourselves. Yeah, so self care. And those tools change depending on the day. So today, it was heartmath quick coherence in the morning before I got out of bed quick coherence before I jumped on this, this call with you guys. Other days, it's Oh, I just need to get outside in the sun and feel the sun on my face and practice gratitude. So I guess my advice to others on a similar journey would be to learn what works for you and and just create your own toolbox and be open and be vulnerable.
Debra Timmerman 19:37
I love that. I don't think there is a one size fix for all, but there are some tools that seem to work better than others for the general population and HeartMath is one of those. And my theory on that is that we self care. Sometimes we look at that as a massage or getting a Reiki or whatever, but we really need stress care all day long, so that when we get to have that massage and the work that we do outside, we can get through. Because if we don't do that stuff in the day, in the moment, all of a sudden, we're hanging on by our fingernails. Whereas we feel more control, we can use those interventions, and it's so portable.
Chandra McBean 20:22
Absolutely. And I could be doing it in front of you right now. And you wouldn't know unless you knew. That's the benefit. I mean, I've used them in in meetings where you know, I have a hard time with conflict. It's something that something I'm personally working on. I've been in situations where there's conflict in a meeting where I literally take those 30 seconds, hurt, focus, breathing, I'm I'm doing that and nobody in the room knows what I'm doing. But it's helping me, I also find the thing was something as simple as that hurt, focus breathing, is one of the struggles that I've had, and I think a lot of people have is the negative self talk, never talked to somebody else, the way we let ourselves talk to ourselves. And I find when I get into quick coherence, I'm not as likely to carry on those conversations with myself, it helps me to deal better in the moment and to be more aware,
Barb Fletcher 21:18
I think, so much wisdom so much enthusiasm, and so much gratitude for you and your journey and your ability to share. We're very grateful for you in sharing so openly with us.
Chandra McBean 21:35
You know, I I like I said, I had some hesitancy at first talking about this, but I really think, you know, in order to normalize an experience that, let's face it, especially now all of us have gone through on some level, I think in order to normalize it, you have to you have to be willing to share. So, I see value in in telling my story in the hopes that someone else even sees an inkling of themselves and, and sees that they're, I don't know there's there's lots of joy on the other side.
Debra Timmerman 22:09
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. We are so thankful that your message is getting out there to women and men out in the world, and we wish you all the best.
Chandra McBean 22:23
And thank you both for doing what you're doing. Because honestly, it took some hand holding from Barb, which I appreciated and she pushed me and she challenged me where I needed it and it's helped me to get where, where I am today. So thank you both for what you're doing every day to help help people on their own journey.
Deb Timmerman 22:42
Our pleasure. Until next time! Less stress in life is possible. If you're new to this kind of thinking and would like to explore what's possible for you. We'd love to connect. You can reach us through our website at less stress in life.com. That's less stress in life.com