Financial Coach Jess VanderLaan shares her journey of resolving $140K of debt and becoming a stay-at-home mom. In this episode she shares tools, strategies and wisdom on how she and her partner stopped stressing about money.
Financial Coach Jess VanderLaan shares her journey of resolving $140K of debt and becoming a stay-at-home mom. In this episode she shares tools, strategies and wisdom on how she and her partner stopped stressing about money.
You're listening to less stress in life. With hosts, Debra Timmerman and Barb Fletcher, we believe life with less stress and more energy is possible with the right tools, strategies and knowledge. So, we bring your real conversations around the stress of relationships, money, and the daily hassles of life, with guests that will inspire, challenge, entertain, and motivate you to take action.
Barb Fletcher:Well, today on our podcast, we have the wonderful Jessica VanderLaan. Jessica is a Dave Ramsey Certified Financial Coach who helps people take charge of their money and create a plan to eliminate financial stress and become debt free. And we know that many people are challenged with finances. So just I've heard that you have an interesting get out of debt story. Can you tell us about it?
Jessica VanderLaan:Sure. My husband and I were married for several years, we were just going through the motions of life, like everybody does. We were living what's called that normal life. And I was like, okay, something needs to change. I wanted to stay home. We decided with four kids at the time, and I wanted to have another one or two and I wanted to be home with them. So I'm like, we need to get our finances figured out so that we can do this. And so I said, I actually on our anniversary, I gave him $100. And I said, Hey, here's your blow money for the next month. This is all you can spend on yourself. And we need to get down to business with our money. And he was like, okay,"What a funny anniversary gift! That's it, you know, but actually, we then like dove in and like looked at like where we were at in debt. And we were up almost $150,000 in debt. We had nothing really to show for it. I mean, we had a house, we had our cars, we had credit card, we had student loans. So, we were just paying all this money out on end all the time. And we just could pay our bills, but we never had any money in savings, any money in retirement, we were just living kind of paycheck to paycheck. So, we just decided that we were going to stop doing that. So within two and a half years, we actually paid off all of that debt. And we now are living completely debt free. So when we talk about debt, we talk about mortgages, and a mortgage, isn't really considered a debt. But now the only debt that we have is a mortgage on our house, all of our vehicles are paid for all of our student loans are paid off. And the bonus was is we were able to take a $50,000 pay cut, and I was able to stay home with our kids. So it was kind of just been a roller coaster. But a good ride too! Jess, you were actually teaching you were an educator, right? You were a teacher, correct? Yes. So I was teaching at the time.
Debra Timmerman:And how big is your family now?
Jessica VanderLaan:We have six kids now. If you aren't just my kids, I count my husband sometimes in that! And then we have like a flock of like critters, too. And just all those things. But it's just nice to be able to live in the moment and be present, and help teach my kids those things, too.
Debra Timmerman:That's an incredible story. And every time I hear it, it just kind of wowed me because many of the people that we coach come to us because they're stressed out. And a lot of times money is the number one issue. And, because they're so debt strapped just like what you just described, they're not able to have choices to stay home with their kids or to they can't deal with emergencies that come up even.
Jessica VanderLaan:Oh my gosh, yeah. Money could have triggered a lot of things from our history. Like, we didn't talk about money. We never talked about finances. And if we ever brought it up, it was world war three in our house. And it was just because we both had different perspectives from like growing up, and just different histories with it, different relationships with money. And, honestly, in my eyes, I was like, well, we can pay our bills. We're doing just fine. We're doing what we're supposed to do, making our paychecks. Paychecks going to pay off this bill, this bill, this bill, but like we were stressed, and I didn't even I never realized how stressed we were until we didn't have that stress. And it's like, oh my goodness, that weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now that I'm home, the kids aren't as dependent on me, I want to start helping other people like take control of their money, relieve some of that stress, help themselves to get into a good spot and a good spot where they can do whatever they want, whether it's a stay at home, buy a different vehicle, send their kid to college is lots of different goals that people have, as they go through this.
Barb Fletcher:So can you talk about how you felt when you were giving things up to pay off your debt?
Jessica VanderLaan:Yeah, I think a lot of it is perspective. We can view it as that we are giving up things, or we're just making changes. So, when I look at the things that we did, was it really giving up things did I really need to go to Target and drop $300 at Target. And the nice thing is, when you work on budgeting, and you start telling your money where it's going, instead of that your money telling you what you're gonna do, you actually don't realize you don't actually have to give up as much as what you think you have to give up. It's just kind of shifting your mind a little bit. So, I have clients that I'm working with that don't talk about money, either. It's a battle. And, you know, the wife was like, I feel like he's gonna control me, I want to be able to spend my money how I want. And after we kind of work through it a little bit, she was like, Oh! I still get to kind of do what I want within parameters, within boundaries, within what I want to actually do with it, and not just get caught up in that moment. So yeah, it's giving up things that you want. But in a way, it's you're still getting a lot of those things. You're just now controlling which ones things you do want in your life, in which things aren't what you need in your life or want in your life.
Debra Timmerman:One of the tools that you do, is have people keep a journal of their expenditures and track your daily expenses. How does that awaken them? Or what kind of information do they discover when they're doing one of those kinds of exercises?
Jessica VanderLaan:It's always amazing what kind of can of worms that they open up. I mean, not because it's intentional. But like, once you're aware, we have this habit in our culture, we just go to the store, and we're just going to swipe that plastic card and swipe and swipe, and we just aren't really fully aware of what we're spending. And so when we are writing it down, it's just like, Oh, my! Wait! How much do I spend on groceries a month? Oh, probably like 1000. And then they track it? And they're like, oh, my goodness! I'm like $1500 to $2,000 in groceries! Why did I spend that on this? You know, and they have to really get themselves thinking about it. And the one bonus, I've seen with a lot of people when they do the budgeting and they keep track what they're spending, is that they become aware. Oh, wait, why did I do that? So, it kind of goes back to your vibe, when you're saying like giving up things. They were like, Oh, well, that I can give up? Because I don't really need that. Or I don't really, why did I buy that? Why did I spend my money on that? So, it opens our eyes to what is really important to us. And, we start to feel that money being spent more than when we just start swiping, or just accumulating. Trust me, I was guilty of that for a really long time.
Debra Timmerman:I did one of Jessica's 30 day, boot camps to learn about finances. And I did that because I thought that there was a potential that Jess and I might work together to educate. Like I said, we get many people who come with the idea that money is their biggest stressor. One of the things that I thought was so creative during this time was the simple swaps that Jess talks about, for example, going through Starbucks, eight times a week is a lot of money. But, you can make that same coffee at home in a very cool cup, where you're helping the environment and not throwing all kinds of garbage in plastic. So you still get to have the feeling of that coffee and that warmth, but you're not paying to support someone else's life style. You're really supporting and investing in your own. Jess, can you give a couple other examples of those simple swaps that make things still easy?
Jessica VanderLaan:One of those swaps that I really encourage people to do is, especially with groceries, we're gonna go to the grocery store, it's good idea to have like a plan, you know, and if you just go online, you can quickly find like some ideas. Sometimes I'll even share that with like people like through my like my emails like they shoot out like try this for your meal plan for the week. But the nice thing is of the big thing that is It's a big swap, but it's not a big swap is using cash when you go to the grocery store, instead of using your credit card or even your debit card, because, yes, the credit card or the debit card and the credit cash are kind of very similar because they're both coming out of your bank account. But when you actually feel yourself physically handing over that money to somebody, you're less likely to buy those Oreos, the chips that you see as you're walking down the aisle, all those things that catch your eye when you're grocery shopping, like oh, well, this sounds kind of good, or this looks good. So being in a way that that budget, but I will tell you, it's it's hard, it was a hard pill for me to swallow when I went over. So if I went to the grocery store, and I only had $150 on me and I went over that 150 I had like, take a minute, Okay, I gotta put something back. But it was a nice thing for me to start learning control, telling myself knows what kind of embeds into a lot of things. So that's not really a super small swap, but it is a swap that may be beneficial is trying to use cash. And if you're not comfortable using cash for like groceries. So for what we did is we use it for we call our blow money. So my husband and I each get a lot of money each month that we can spend on whatever we want. So that may be if you want the Starbucks, it's coming out of that money. So you can still get the Starbucks but it's more in a controlled amount. You only have whatever amount you guys set. People ask a lot how much I put for blow money, like we personally do $100 a month for each of us. But it's everyone's individual set. And that's why it's really good to kind of talk with a coach, whether it's me or somebody else, kind of get a plan, like what are you doing with your money, what's a good amount for you, because some people may be we have a client that it's $50 a month, I have another claim that 150. So it's all different depending on where you're at in your journey, but then you're using that money. So if you want to stop to the gas station, and grab some munchies from the gas station, you're using that cash, versus just swiping the car because you'll feel and see that difference in that money going away quicker, or your feet going way slower, because you're like, Oh, wait, I don't want to spend all of them. So just kind of being aware when you can use cash is a really good like swap in your lifestyle.
Barb Fletcher:I remember back when I was a single mom. And I remember, it was before cell phones. But I remember Actually, I didn't pay what I don't think I paid with cash. But I as I put things in the basket, I had a mental adding machine going on. And I know that that in is one of the things that shifted it for me. You know, it wasn't as disciplined as how you speak and, and I probably could dig out that adding machine now, because I I've kind of gotten away from it. And you know, we we grocery shop once a week and a big box store and and that can be deadly. You know, just if you just stay in the grocery aisle, it's it's not so bad. But if you happen to take a tour down one of those aisles, not good.
Jessica VanderLaan:Oh guilty.
Barb Fletcher:The groceries, don't do groceries. And you know, like, there's not an issue with buying groceries. It's the other things that we get attracted to.
Debra Timmerman:What's the most common financial emergency that you see that people are not prepared for?
Jessica VanderLaan:It's Christmas. Because Christmas is an emergency? Did you know that it only happens occasionally and never as planned. Okay, I'm just I'm being sarcastic. But like, you know, it's like things like that, like, we know when Christmas is going to be or we know when someone's birthday is going to be. And we don't plan for it. My son's birthday is coming up in June. So we have a set budget and allowances amount that we're putting away so that we know that when we go buy his Christmas or birthday presents. We're only spending this much money on their birthday because his birthday is not an emergency. Maybe when I had it might have been an emergency. That's a different story. But the actual birthday itself is not an emergency. And so I need to have that plan in place because we get into this panic mode. Oh, I got to get birthday presents, and we drop a lot more money. Another one that comes up is Oh, I need new tires on my car. Well, is that truly an emergency? Realistically, we should know that we need new tires, but I'll be guilty of it. I was like before we were financially prepared, like Oh shoot, I need new tires. That's an emergency. But it's just not really because we should be planning ahead for those type of things. I will say that like we actually did have an emergency when we were going through this plan and when we work I work education To give people at least $1,000, in their emergency fund just $1,000 to kind of get them started kind of covered the basis of most true most emergencies, that it's not a true emergency. Like if someone has to take out work for three months or six months, like things like that, but just more like those smaller emergencies. And we actually our dog, we were like two months in, we had our emergency fund, and our dog was pregnant, and she got an infection and had to be taken into the emergency room on a Saturday night. And stay overnight. And Saturday, there's an emergency surgery, emergency, hysterectomy, everything, Andy monitor all day on Sunday. And typically, we would be like, Oh crap, what are we going to do, we need to shift money from this credit card that this one's that we have enough to pay, you know, those freak out moments. And that would, I would say what was really actually a true emergency situation. But the nice thing is, is we didn't have to like stress about any of the money. Like it was like a blessing in a weird way. You know, it's crazy, as bad as it was our dog was happened. But like, we could actually truly just focus on our dog, our dog being healthy, our kids being okay, that the dog had to get taken into the vet, like, barely, you know, so we could deal and cope with all those things and not have to worry about that Financial Peace. So I mean, it's essentially bring up the emergencies, because we do everyone has a different emergency that's going to come up. And some are going to be natural emergencies that we feel like they are. And that doesn't take anything away from that feeling that you feel like it's a true emergency. Because when I needed a new tires, it was a true emergency to me, you know, so we still have those. And then but the nice thing is now that, you know we're on a plan, and we are focused on what we're doing with our money, we can plan for all those other things that aren't those emergencies. And so when those true emergencies come up, they're not sure emergencies anymore, either, because we can just breathe, and focus on what we need to focus on.
Debra Timmerman:Wow, that's so powerful. I guess what I heard you say throughout this whole podcast, if I might summarize is, number one, we need to be aware of our relationship with money and where our money's going, what's coming in what's going out. And we need to have a plan for how we're going to spend that. So when real emergencies happen, we really have some resources to take care of that.
Jessica VanderLaan:Yeah, I think that's it's exactly. I can't say any better, you did a great job.
Debra Timmerman:You shared a lot of wisdom and nuggets with our listeners today. Do you have one? Tip, one place to start? So that they can have less stress in life around the topic of money?
Jessica VanderLaan:You know, the one tip I mean, just try to make yourself aware and be true to yourself? Or you know, ask yourself, are you comfortable with how you're living your life? And if your first response is, well, no, no, take that as like that. Okay, I need to do something to work on changing? Is it easy to go through these steps? it I'll be honest, not the beginning. I mean, it's hard. But is it any harder than where I was at before? That? Was it? I don't think it was any harder than juggling all my bills and paying this bill and this bill on this one. And this one. It's just changing that mindset of where we're focusing our spending out. So you know, asking yourself, Is this where I want to be? Is this what I want for my family? If I have one or just for myself? What legacy do I want to leave behind? And then do I want to make some changes for them. And the nice thing is, is that it can be drastic changes and jump completely all in and you know, budget and do all those things, and really, really go gung ho, or you can take it in baby steps. And the great thing is I've worked with clients on both ends of those spectrums. And everyone gets to that same goal in the end if they truly want to change and take some of those things. And it's a bonus when you have like someone like an accountability partner on your team that can help hold you accountable. Whether it's your significant other, your spouse, your best friend, your parent, you know it Everyone has a different accountability partner, but just taking that step in deciding where you want to be at and having someone there to help support you. Because it does, I'll be out I can't lie. It's not easy. But I can tell you right now it's it's pretty smooth sailing. Now that we've done it for a while. Not smooth, but you know, it's not as bumpy as it was at the beginning. So as bumpy as it can be with a whole bunch of kids and pets in the family and a life during the pandemic. Exactly right. I mean nothing smooth sailing ever in life. So don't expect that. But it does help folks want to get on a journey to change relationship with money.
Debra Timmerman:How do folk who need help find you?
Jessica VanderLaan:I'm on Facebook on Instagram I also have a website it's called Financialsuccesswith Jess.com that has my email address, and my phone number. You know those are the best way is just to kind of get in touch. I offer like free consultations if you're contemplating it, reach out. And then I see as we just kind of talk and see if we're a good fit. If you want to work with me if you feel like we can connect or that I can be helpful to you. Those are the best ways is just making a phone call, take 10 minutes and see where you're at that may change things for you.
Debra Timmerman:Thank you so much for being our guest today.
Jessica VanderLaan:Thank you so much for inviting me. I was honored to be a part of your guys's group and thank you for keep working with people and helping really low stresses in life because there's a lot of things going on in life. Thank you.
Debra Timmerman:Thanks for listening today. Until next time, less stress in life is possible. If you're new to this kind of thinking and would like to explore what's possible for you. We'd love to connect. You can reach us through our website at less stress in life.com. That's less stress in life.com